One..Singular Sensation!

This blog may only pertain to the single gals out there today but it may entertain others. If you've ever lived by yourself then you probably feel my pain but I've had two instances happen to me since I've been living by myself. Things that I never would have thought twice about when I was living with other people.

The first thing happened to me in October. We were having a bridal shower for a couple in my church on Sunday night. We were all supposed to bring finger foods. Well, I found this really great beef and cheese dip that you serve in a bread bowl. It is fantastic! I absolutely love it. You can make it low fat and no one will even know...or you can make it real fatty and it tastes even better. Anyway, one of the ingredients is mild pepper rings. So I've cut up all the other ingredients and have put everything together except for the pepper rings. I go to open the jar and I can't get it to budge. I wipe my hands and the jar of any wetness and still nothing. I mean I am moaning and grunting and still...nothing! So I grab the slip grip thingy and use that. Still nothing. I mean this thing is not wanting to give at all. I did everything I could to open this stupid jar besides throwing it up against the wall which is what I felt like doing. I was so upset. I was upset because I felt like this little weakling. I was upset because I'm 31 and should be married by now so I could make a man feel empowered because he could open a jar of pepper rings. I was upset because this is an important ingredient to the recipe and now I couldn't add it. So I just said forget it and the useless jar of pepper rings is still sitting in my fridge! Every time I open my fridge door and spot this crappy piece of junk I get mad all over again! I should just throw it away so I don't lose my religion every time I look at it. If you are wondering about the dip. I didn't add it. It was a little dry than it usually is but it still tasted good. My mother noticed though. She was like, "What's missing from this?" I couldn't bear to tell her that she birthed a girl who was beaten by a jar of pepper rings. You are probably saying, "Janice, why didn't you go to a neighbor?" Would you?! I was embarrassed enough in front of myself let alone a complete stranger! At this point I still hadn't met any of my neighbors. I've only met one couple and that was this past Tuesday when I literally ran into them on the steps. Anyway, they are a nice older couple who live on the third floor. Wouldn't you know that the gentleman is the man who wakes me up at 5 am every morning revving his truck up! He's really nice and friendly so I can't complain anymore. :(

So the second thing that has happened to me happened this morning. I was curling my hair and I don't know how I did it but I rolled a piece of my hair in the curling iron and when I went to undo it my hair was stuck in the iron! I looked like Debra Barone on Everybody Loves Raymond when she was getting ready for the ESPY awards and got her hair caught in the curling iron and her husband left her there because she was late. Very funny episode. But anyway, I about started to panic because I was afraid I was going to burn a clump of my hair right off my head and then I would have a bald spot on the crown of my head. That would have been so beautiful! :) I tugged and twisted the iron and finally it released my hair. I did pull quite a bit of hair out in the process but at least I didn't burn my hair or my scalp in the process. Now, this happens to every girl at one point or another in her life. But why I thought having someone else in the house with me when this happens would be better I don't know. It's not like anyone else could have done anything about it except make fun of me and call out my stupidity of getting my hair stuck in my curling iron.

Yes, being single and living alone is very adventurous and entertaining. Oh, I have one more story. I can't remember if I've told this on here or not. The weekend after I moved into my apartment I was sitting on the couch watching TV when a movement on the wall caught my eye. It was a the biggest blackest spider I had ever seen. I hate spiders. I'm not as afraid of them as I am wasps but I hate them. I didn't quite know what to do. The spider had crawled up the wall behind my entertainment center and then onto the ceiling. So I do what every girl does. I screamed and then called my mommy. I was like, "MOM! THERE'S A SPIDER ON MY CEILING! IT'S BIG AND BLACK!! WHAT DO I DO?!?" (I use all caps because I'm screaming on the phone. She says, "Kill it." Really? Thanks, mom! I could have thought of that. I also at this point didn't own a fly swatter so I didn't know what to do. So I took a dining room chair and a flip flop to try and do battle with this spider. Now the spider is directly above the entertainment center so there is no easy way for me to get to this spider. So the genius that I am I climb up on the chair and took my flip flop and threw it at the spider. Now during this throwing I managed to somehow come up off the chair and turn it on it's side. So here I am mid-air and I realize that I will be landing on this chair. So I did what most girls do. I screamed and then landed on the chair kicking over the coffee table in the process. Don't ask me how I managed to do this. I bet those poor people below me thought I was either coming through their ceiling or Nashville was having an earthquake. I landed hard on the chair but I was okay. I was bruised for several days but nothing was broken. Did I kill the spider? Eventually. I managed to kill it with Windex. I sprayed the web out of that spider.