On My Knees

If you are wondering why I've been absent from the blog lately this is why. I had to totally redo my work's website. Before May of this year I had help with the website but that person moved out of town leaving me to do the website along with all her other duties. Don't get me wrong I enjoy every part of it. Because of the added work I realized that I had not done a significant update on this website in quite a few months so that's what I have been up to the last few weeks along with trying to get ready for a conference we are having in just a few short weeks. Time just seems to really be flying by. I feel like I have so much to do and not enough time to do it. I'm sure everyone feels that way from time to time.

In the middle of all this busyness that is my life right now, I had the urge to go camping last night. Isn't that weird? I have never camped a day in my life. When I say camping I'm talking about a hiking, a tent, sleeping bags, and a firepit where I can make s'mores. Now I've camped at a church camp but you sleep in bunk beds and in a cabin. But for some reason, I had this big urge to go camping. My mind has been in some really weird places this past week. I also was in this huge funk for about a week and a half that I couldn't pull myself out of. It's funny how drastic emotions can turn without a notice. Oh the life of a female! :-) It's probably a good thing I'm not married right now with the sudden turns of moods I've been in lately. But I seem to be getting back to normal. I've been spending alot of time in prayer with the Lord lately. I've got huge decisions to make in the couple of months and things going on where I've been on my knees alot lately. All I want is to be in the will of the Lord and do what He wants me to do and be who He wants me to be and serve where He wants me to serve. It's not that I'm trying to find myself, because I'm not. I'm just want to serve Him and live for Him and make the right decisions. I'm so incredibly happy right now.

2008 was a pretty bad year for me. I was incredibly lonely and longed for a relationship with someone. I lost relationships with friends that hurt beyond reason. It left me with no where to go but to the Lord. It was there that I truly understood the promises the Lord tells us in His Word. I learned that He will never leave me. He will never turn His back on me. He will love me no matter what I do, what I say, or how I act. He only was the One I could count on. I have never been closer to the Lord than I am now and I only want to get even closer. I still feel like I'm nowhere where I need to be with Him. It's a struggle everyday but I've never been happier to serve Him. It's during this time that the old dreams I had as teenager was to grow up and meet and fall in love with someone whose in the ministry has come back into my heart. Ministry is all I've ever known. My father is a minister. He has been since the day I was born. He was also a Home Missionary. So it's the life I've ever known and even though it can be tough, hard, and lonely to be a preacher's wife, it can also be so rewarding and I know that reward far outweighs the not so good parts. It's a dream that I've always had but I got in the way of that over the last few years when I decided to become selfish and make everything all about me. I've had a great example of being a preacher's wife through my mom and I pray that the Lord blesses me like He's blessed her. It may not be God's will for me to marry someone in the ministry someday but I know that I want to be a part of it somehow so maybe it is all part of God's plan. I don't know yet. But I'm praying hard.

It's funny how when you get hurt by people beyond reason and lose relationships that are beyond your control, God has a way of filling that space with new relationships that are even better than the ones you lost. I've found a new friend that has blessed my life more than I can ever say. This person makes me want to be a better person, a better Christian, and a better servant for the Lord. This person has opened my eyes to things that I never gave a second thought too. After I talk to this person or have spent time with this person, I leave feeling so much better than I did before and I feel blessed just to know them. I feel like my life is so much more blessed just because they are in it now. I just hope that I leave that same impression with them. We should all strive to leave a lasting impression when we leave someone's presence. But the only way, for me anyway, to have these relationships is if I pray hard everyday on my knees and ask the Lord to guide me and give me wisdom in everything. How can you go wrong?

America the Beautiful

So I'm doing horrible at keeping my blog updated. There are some blogs that I read and they update theirs every single day and then they also blog more than once a day. I don't know how they do it. I just don't have much to say sometimes. Take, for instance, phone calls. Sometimes when I'm on the phone with someone I just don't have anything to say and so we just sit there in silence. It can be so awkward. The whole time my mind is racing for things to say. Maybe someone can help me in this area and give me some topics to bring up in the moments of silence. I think my whole problem is that I don't want people to think I'm stupid or dumb. I don't want to come across as unintelligent or immature so I revert to not saying anything at all which is even worse. But somehow I can manage to stretch a phone call out to an hour or so.

I was able to watch online Barack Obama get sworn in as president this morning. Now, I'm not a democrat and I wasn't pleased with the results of the election but I have to admit that it was exciting to see history being made. Our country has come so far throughout the years and I'm so glad that I was here to witness it all. It was unnerving to me this morning when some people were making a joke out of the presidency and the inauguration. I don't know, it just didn't sit well with me. As Americans we need to all prayer for and support our new president and give him the respect that the position deserves. Of course, I wanted to see what Michelle Obama was wearing. To me, she has always held herself as a classy woman and she always wears the most beautiful outfits and today was no exception. I thought she looked stunning and I can't wait to see what she wears to the Inaugural Ball tonight.

This week at work has been so busy and crazy. We have a missionary training conference coming up in exactly one month and I've been on the phone for the past two days working with the hotel and then just trying to get everything all organized. It's been so busy but I live for this stuff. I love doing event planning things. I don't love it enough to make a full time job out of it but I enjoy doing it when the times rolls around for me to do it here at work. But I will admit that I will be happy when the event is over; it can be so draining sometimes. I have decided though to get a second job, per se. I'm not leaving my current job but I've decided to start selling Premiere Jewelry. I originally had thought about doing it last year but a friend decided to start selling it then and made a comment to me about being on her territory so I decided to let it go. But I know now that I have to do something to bring in extra cash and since I love jewelry I decided to make a go of it. Someone had once tried to get me to sell Mary Kay make-up but I don't wear it and I'm not good at applying make-up at all so I had to pass on that product but I liked the idea of selling something on my off time. I still have a school loan that I'm paying off and I would love to pay it off this year so that is a main reason for starting this business. I don't know how good I'll be at selling because I've never been one to be pushy but my sponsor said that there are numerous training outlets that I could use and also the jewelry basically sells itself. I could just throw on the table and say, "Look!" and I can sell some pieces. So I'm excited abut also a little nervous. I officially start in February so please pray for me.

Also, please pray with me on a personal matter that is going on in my life. It isn't anything bad or life-threatening. It's actually a good thing but I need some guidance and wisdom that I'm doing what the Lord wants me to do. All I want in life is to follow the Lord and serve Him so I don't want to do anything that will cause me to be out of His will. If things work out in this certain situation the reward will be huge and so wonderful but I want to always keep the Lord first in all situations so if you think about just say a little prayer for me.

No More Night!

Man, is it freezing outside! I mean it is chilling to the bone. I've had my heater running at work all day. I don't remember being so cold. It is in the middle of the afternoon and it is only 20 degrees outside. Luckily there are no clouds or it would probably be colder out. Tonight it's supposed to get in the single digits. It hasn't been like that in Nashville in a long time. I just wish we had a bunch of snow to go with that. Metro Schools have called off school tomorrow because of the frigid weather. I'm not complaining about the cold weather because I'm from the north and I don't want my northerner friends making fun of me but it's just really cold outside.

Today for lunch our office went to The Cheesecake Factory. This place is like a little piece of Heaven. I ordered for lunch Renee's Special. It is a cup of soup, half a sandwich and a small salad. It's very tasty. I can never eat the whole thing so I took it all home and will be enjoying it again tonight for supper. I did order a slice of Dulce de Leche cheesecake. I only had a few bites but it was so good. It just melted in my mouth! It has to be a sin to taste so good but I also think that Heaven has to have cheesecake up there minus the calories. That makes me think of what exactly Heaven will be like. I know there is a book about Heaven that tells what they think it will be like but I do wonder sometimes if we will have some of the goodness that is on earth like cheesecake. Our church last year went through the book of Revelation and it was very eye opening and it actually comforted me about dying and being in Heaven. I'm just so excited because there will be no more pain, no sorrow or crying, no worrying about weight or finding clothes to fit right. All we have to do is praise and worship the Lord! How fun and exciting will that be? I just don't get how people openly and willingly choose Hell. I have a family member who told my dad once after he tried to talk to her about the Lord that she has chosen Hell and to leave her alone. How could she do that? There is constant pain for eternity. Why choose a place of constant pain over a place of complete of peace and joy. I don't get it. I love the song No More Night. I especially love the way David Phelps sings it. He is truly one of the best tenors I have ever heard in my life and when he sings this song I get chill bumps up and down my arms. It's amazing.

I'm so excited because I'm going to Alabama this weekend to see my family. I feel guilty every time I do though because I go right through Birmingham to get there. I have a friend who lives outside of Birmingham and I never stop and see her. I tried to once but something came up and we couldn't meet and we've never tried to get together again. So, Serena, I'm sorry I never stop to see you. I will be going back down there twice in February for birthdays so hopefully I can stop and catch up for a bit. But anyway, I'm so excited to see my family. Lately I have just gotten closer and closer to my brother and sister (in law) and I love being around them. My nephew is only 11 months old started walking all the time now so I can't wait to see that. He took his first steps on Christmas Eve and I was able to see that but after his nap later that day he seemed to forget what he did earlier. Then just a few days ago he just got up and walked across the room. He's so smart. My niece is getting at that really fun age where she will get on the phone with you and carry on an actual conversation. It's really cute. I was talking to her the other day and told her that I was coming to see her this weekend and she was so excited because she wants to have a tea party (she got a tea set for Christmas). So I told her we could have one. She's so cute, smart, adorable, talented, etc. :) But I'm not biased at all.

Hey, You Guys!

I've been having 80's flashbacks all weekend and this week. First of all, the movie The Goonies was on this past Saturday. I love that movie. That is one of my favorite 80's movies besides The Breakfast Club and The Karate Kid. Watching this weekend I finally realized just how cheesy that movie really was but I still have to watch it every time it comes on TV. I mean who doesn't love Sloth and Capt. Chunk?!? Every time I hear Cyndi Lauper I always think of this movie. I even own the DVD. What's cool about that is that there is a commentary on there with the cast. They did it just a few years ago so it was really neat to see them all as adults. Some of them I haven't seen since that movie and let me tell you that Chunk turned into a very handsome man! But to continue my 80's flashback I turn on pandora.com on my computer to listen to some pop/rock music and they are playing all 80's & 90's music. I mean, they played, Pat Benatar, Air Supply, Journey, Tiffany, Paula Abdul, and The Bengals song "Walk Like an Egyptian". Do you remember that song? I had not heard that song in years. Good times.

Last night was Bunco night for the girls. We started all over this month. We had three girls drop out and so far have only added two so we still need another player but we think we have a willing girl. It was alot of fun. I didn't win but that's okay. I just go for the fun anyway. Tonight I'm excited...I've got NCIS, Scrubs and American Idol all in one night. It's just too much! :) I think I can handle it but I really need a hobby. I watch entirely too much TV. I have a friend who doesn't watch much TV but he has so much to do to keep him busy. I don't know what I would do with my evenings if I didn't watch TV. I mean, I do read in the evenings, but I do get bored with that. I need something to do with my hands. Anybody have any suggestions on a hobby that isn't expensive, boring or grandma-ish?

Also, it is just freezing cold here. My weather.com toolbar thingy (that's the technical term) says it's 33 degrees here. It was spitting snow here earlier today. I used to live in Illinois where it gets so much colder so it never bothered me much but since living in Nashville, I can't get used to the cold anymore. I put on my facebook status that I was freezing and someone that I went to high school with said it was -1 there! Brrrr. That's just too cold. I've become a pansie. I know. I'm not ashamed to admit it. Oh, and as a friend just now reminded me...to all your northerners who happen to read this and say, "Oh, 33 degrees is nothing!" let me remind you that my cold is not the same as your cold so when we say we are freezing....WE ARE!! We are not used to really cold weather. Our bodies adapt to where we are and so we can't handle what we once did. Make sense? :-) But I saw on the news that everyone is freezing everywhere! I know that this week it's supposed to get to 14 one day and 7 here another day. Now those are the lows and the highs are in the 20's. I really need to invest in a scarf and gloves. Stay warm everybody!

Somewhere Over the Rainbow

Today is a little sad. One of the departments in my building had to let go of a worker today because of the economy and she came around to say good-bye to us all. She has worked in this certain department for 22 years and now she has to leave. She's a sweet lady and I hate to see her go. She found out Wednesday that she was being let go and now today was her last day. It's very sad.

That got me to thinking about what I would do if I were let go from work all of a sudden. It's a scary thought and one that many people are facing everyday since our country has gotten into a recession. But I was talking to a friend today and I think that once I'm done working at my current job I'm done working in an office setting. I've enjoyed working here and still do. I like the people I work with and for the most part it's a very nice place to work. It has its moments where you get frustrated with people and there are plenty of days where I just don't feel like going in but that's true in any job. So what would I do if it all ended tomorrow? I think that I would just write. That's what I really want to do anyway. I think that I would spend all my time writing stories and articles. You can make a good living doing it. That's not why I really want to write though. I just want to tell a good story. I've mentioned in here plenty of times how much I love to read. I love to get lost in a story and let it take me to places I've never been. I want it to touch my soul and change my life and way of thinking sometimes. I would love to do that for other people. I love the different emotions that it puts me through. I love that they make me laugh, cry and scare me out of my wits. I once read a book (by Stephen King) that scared me so badly I put it in the freezer and slept with my light on. It was scary but I loved it!

Besides getting married and having a family of my own, that's my biggest dream. I guess it's my second dream or goal in life. Do dreams really come true? I love the song from the Wizard of Oz, Somewhere Over the Rainbow. It talks about dreams coming true. I believe that God wants our dreams to come true. I was talking to a friend the other night after church and I told her that 2008 was a bad year for me. I went into a depression of sorts. It wasn't a huge depression but it was enough that it messed up my relationship with the Lord and with other people. Finally, one day I just told the Lord that I had enough! I wanted to be happy. I was tired of feeling sad and not worth anything to anyone. I finally just laid it all down at my Savior's feet and gave it all to Him. It was amazing how I felt afterwards. I stopped focusing on what I didn't have. I started making lists of what I wanted to accomplish and I've made it my goal to really accomplish as many of them as I can. I know I've talked about this not long ago but it's still so heavy on my mind that I want to just keep reminding myself. Seeing this lady today lose her job reminded me again of what I really want to accomplish in life.

The Lord has restored relationships that I lost and He also added new ones that are blessing my life tremendously. I'm the happiest now than I've ever been and I know that no matter what happens in my life that the Lord will always be there with me helping me make my dreams come true.

Ladies in Red

You know you have been working too long with people when you all show up wearing the exact same thing for work! It was down right hilarious. I work with 3 other women and 3 men and all four of us ladies are wearing red sweaters and black skirts today. It is so funny. We took a picture but the photo is so unbecoming of me that it will never be seen by anybody! What are the odds that all four of us would be wearing the same outfit? Everyone in the building has been coming by to look at us since it got around that we all dressed alike. I feel like a spectacle now. Really, do these people not have anything else to do? What feels weird is that I was running late today and I forgot to put on all my jewelry. I feel really bare without it. Oh well, at least my hair looks decent.

Church was really good last night. So far my dad's done pretty well in his sermons and studies for 2009. Not that he doesn't ever do well but they have been exceptionally good lately. I'm getting alot out of them. After church I went out to dinner with a friend that I haven't seen in almost a month. We had a really great time and were able to catch up. She's missed alot in my life that's so exciting so it was awesome to tell her about all that has been going on. We were the last ones to the leave the restaurant last night. We went to our favorite Mexican place and you know you've been there way too much when all the workers recognize you and call you a regular. We had no idea we were considered "regulars". I kind of felt special. :-)

My dad has started a club at the church called the 10 Pound Club. He is challenging any one who wants to lost weight to try and lose 10 pounds by February 28. He had us all sign a paper and everything. He's starting to send us encouraging emails everyday. I'm excited about it. I need to lose more than 10 pounds but it's better to only think of 10 instead of the entire number. It's too overwhelming if you say, I need to lose 50 pounds. My goal is to only do 10 at a time to get to the bigger number. I really want to lost all my weight this time and just feel better. I want to look better of course but really I just want to feel better. So I'm really excited about doing this. My only problem is that I hate water. I'll drink it but I can't really stand the taste of plain water. I need to try the flavored water. I'm just not sure which kind to try. I'll let you know how the progress goes.

She's a Maniac!!

Hi. My name is Janice and I have an addiction. It hasn't been that long but I can't seem to live without it now. Want to know what it is?

It's the 100 calorie packs of Twinkie Bites and Strawberry Cupcakes by Hostess. I'm completely addicted. It's not right. I know that they are 3 goodness of cakes in one wrapping for 100 calories so it's healthy, right? So is it wrong to eat about 3 packs in one sitting? It's just not right and it needs to stop but I can't help myself. I'll be sitting on my couch reading a good book or be lost in a great movie and I can just hear it calling my name..."Janice. Janice. Come eat me. I'm only 100 calories. I'm good for you!" I need help!! I'm a maniac for Hostess 100 calorie packs! Try them. You'll be just as addicted to them as I am and right now you can get a coupon off the Hostess website so now it's also economical.

It is a dull dreary day here in Nashville. It's rained all night and it's still raining today. But we really need it. I walk on a trail at a lake here and you can tell the the lake is really down so we are in serious need of rain. It's just inconvenient when your hair turns out halfway decent and then you realize your umbrella has a whole in it. Oh well. I wish it wasn't raining so I can walk at the trial. I'm addicted to this trail also. I think I've mentioned here a time or two. I have a friend who loves being outside and made it sound so wonderful to be outside all the time that I decided to try walking at a park and now I love it and I understand what he means now. I'm bummed that I can't go today because of the rain. Hopefully it will let up soon.

Tonight I have absolutely nothing planned which is wonderful! It seems like I'm always busy doing this and that so I'm so stoked to be home tonight watch my all time favorite show...NCIS! I'm also excited because I heard that Dancing with the Stars is coming back on in March. Exciting!! Man, my life is boring right now! :-)

No Opportunity Wasted

I've been doing really badly about keeping my blog updated regularly. I'm going to try and do better by updating this on a regular basis. I don't have a computer at home so it gets a little tough to update sometimes.

I had to work this past Monday but I had Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday off. Now it's Friday and I am back at work. There should be some kind of law against working on Fridays...especially Fridays after the holidays. It was tough getting up this morning but I was able to drag myself in. I'm so glad though that tomorrow is Saturday and I can sleep in. I am not a morning person by any stretch of the imagination. I've tried in the past but it just doesn't work. Oh well.

Wednesday I went to go see Marley & Me. It stars Owen Wilson and Jennifer Aniston. It was so good but you need to be prepared that for the last ten minutes or so of the movie you will cry. So bring tissues. It was so good. I love movies that make you cry and if there are animals in it it's just even better. I'm a huge dog person so this was a great movie for me even if it was a little sad and made me cry at the end. I wasn't the only one crying. You could hear sniffling and crying throughout the entire theatre. It was rather comical. It was good to see Owen Wilson in this movie. It was the first movie he made after his suicide attempt back in 2007. If you've read my blog before you know the burden that I carry for celebrities. I guess it's my love for movies and TV that started it but I have a huge burden for their souls and I pray everyday that the Lord will bring someone in their life who will show them the love the God and show them that they need the Lord in their life. Owen Wilson is I think the one that is on my heart the most. I love his movies. There are a few that I wouldn't recommend to people but for the most part he makes movies that are hilarious. I think Marly & Me was one of his bests. I pray everyday that someone will tell him about the Lord.

With 2009 here, I've seen alot on TV about making this year count. I've heard so many people say that they need to make a list of everything that they want to do and try to accomplish as many on the list as they can. I've made a small list in my head. Most of it is personal but one thing that I've always wanted to do is take a cross country trip across our beautiful nation. I traveled alot growing up so I was able to see most of the country but there are so many states and places that I have never been to. I would love to take a month off and just travel around. But I would settle for just traveling for a week or two.

My favorite reality show is The Amazing Race. The host on there is Phil Keoghan. He had a traumatic experience when he was younger and almost died. Since then he made a list of things he wanted to do before he died and he now decides to live his life as if it's his last. He now encourages everyone to do the same. That got me thinking about my walk with the Lord. I have a great relationship with the Lord but it could always be better. I should never be satisfied with where I am. I need to make everyday count as if it's my last and be a witness to people. I should make a point to at tell at least one person everyday about what Jesus has done for me. He's given me so many blessings. I tend to focus on the one thing that I don't have when I should be focusing on the many things that I do have. I've been trying to do that for the past month or so and I learned quickly that when you do that, the Lord somehow will put in your lap the one thing that you don't have. It's so amazing.

We should never waste an opportunity. We should love more, give more, laugh more, witness more, serve more, have fun more. We should just do more. I'm incredibly happy today and I've made it my mission to not waste an opportunity.